Sunday, January 29, 2012

Dear Facebook Application Authors…

If your app says it needs my email address to function, I’m going to block it.

Seriously. What could your *Ville-of-the-week1 possibly need my email address for? I’ll click through just about anything, but when broken down to a two-line prompt with a picture that essentially says “The author of this app is going to spam the crap out of you”, what do you really expect me to say?

[1. Zynga is just one of many offenders. Did I call them out specifically due to recent shadiness? Maybe…]

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations

Dear Ubisoft,

Please note the following list of completely redundant, unnecessary, and annoying features in your recent Assassin’s Creed titles.

  • City renovations.
  • Buying artwork / books / outfits.
  • Den defense.
  • 2D puzzles.
  • 3D puzzles.
  • Uplay.
  • Crafting.
  • Unskippable cutscenes.
  • Continent-conquering menu system.
  • Insta-win buttons.
  • Reusing world models.
  • Precursor civilizations.

I encourage you to consider redistributing the resources from the above areas into the following gameplay elements.

  • Moar assassinating.
  • A difficulty curve.

  - Lownewulf

PS. Fix your clipping. Or at least reset me to checkpoint when I fall through the world.